Things That've Gone Horribly Wrong So Far The Not-So-Bad Bits
- I've managed to, through some remarkable act of brilliance, stumble through a rift in time and space whilst chasing down yet another pimple on the arse of humanity.
- I can't go back.
- Given that my entire department has the average competence level of a three year-old on a sugar rush, the bastard I was chasing may just go uncaught.
- It's 2008, which makes this 35 years in my future, and no one's even got a flying car.
- Also, I'm in America, where my badge does about as much good as condoms for a nun. ...make that an ugly nun. I've heard stories.
- The beer around here tastes like frozen horse piss.
- I've found out I TURN INTO A LION. I'm just waiting for someone to scratch my head and call me a nice puss.
- Oh, and there are angels and demons and god knows what else everywhere. Can't forget that.
- I'm quite possibly mad, and somewhere in Manchester, they've got me sitting in a nice rubber room while Tyler makes that V. Serious Face of his and pretends to pity me and acts like he's not a bigger nutter than an entire bleeding asylum put together.
- If this is real, Tyler is not actually a bigger nutter than an entire bleeding asylum put together.
- With Raymondo and -- god help me for saying it -- Tyler around, CID might actually stand a chance. Might. As long as they get someone not from Hyde to run the place in my absence.
- I CAN TURN INTO A BLOODY LION.