themanclion: (chippy!gene - this r srs)
[personal profile] themanclion
Stolen from most of Gene's flist, at this point:

Comment here, with any of your characters and any of my characters (mouseover for journal names), and I will write you a fic. Specifically, I will write you a fic wherein they have OFFSPRING - accidental, surrogate'd, adopted, completely clueless, whatever.

FOAR GRATE LULZ. Or just, y'know, crack.

Date: 2009-04-21 01:27 am (UTC)
ext_25002: The TARDIS on the Plass, in front of the Millennium Centre (BTR*D: The sense God gave a penguin)
From: [identity profile]
Pick one! Or, y'know, more than one.

[ profile] definitivestep/[ profile] lionofmanc
[ profile] evengodsdo/[ profile] radiantsoldier
[ profile] thatsortofaman/[ profile] trust_mistruth
[ profile] torchwoodsheart/[ profile] superiorspectre

...I'd ask for Suzie/Tosh, but Tosh just flails so much in my head every time I think about doing so that I feel bad.

Date: 2009-04-21 02:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

THIS close to crying. THIS close. Fucking Sam bleedover.

I love you. So much. But fucking ow.

Date: 2009-04-22 09:17 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-04-25 06:15 am (UTC)
storyinmypocket: ([btr] youtube that shit)
From: [personal profile] storyinmypocket
"I had nothing to do with this," the Master said, glaring pointedly at a certain Mr. Descant.

"Okay, fine. Nothing to do with it. Say I believe you... How do we fix it?" Des glared right back at the Time Lord sitting across the table.

Underneath said table, on the floor between them, sat a small child who was currently using a sonic screwdriver to quite intently scan the Master's chair.

"I haven't the faintest idea," said the Master. "If you're so determined to pick my brain, why don't you just walk right up to the members of the Kashtta Trust, who are, at this very moment, looking for me and the Doctor both, and ask them to pretty please give me my memories back so we can fix our tiny, defenseless, and easily-controllable Doctor. I'm sure if you pout endearingly enough, they'll just rush to help."

"No one likes a smartass," Des growled.

The Master narrowed his eyes. "And yet, people still put up with you. Fascinating, isn't it?"

They glared at each other a while longer, until the Master felt a tugging on his trouser leg. "Koschei! Koschei, look! I got a screwdriver! And I can do... stuff." And, at that, the Master's chair collapsed beneath him, dropping him to the floor with a muffled 'oof'. "See?"

The Master growled something inarticulate in Gallifreyan.

"That's an inappropriate juxtaposition of concepts," said the child. "You shouldn't say that around me. I'm impressionable."

"Oh, we'll see what kind of impression I can..." Whatever threat the Master might have made was abruptly cut off by Des hauling him to his feet, away from the tiny Doctor.

"He's still the Doctor," Des pointed out. "Easy."

"Oh, trust me. I know that. That's what's going to make this so very enjoyable."

Date: 2009-04-25 06:17 am (UTC)
storyinmypocket: ([btr] sick + horrific = cool)
From: [personal profile] storyinmypocket
"No, I'm not," said the child, either unaware of or not caring about any imminent unpleasantness the Master might care to unleash. "Doctor's a stupid name. I don't want it."

"Fine. Fine. What do we call you?" Des was looking a bit out of his depth, and the Master simply smirked.

"My name's..." and then the boy who insisted on not being the Doctor said something. It was thirty-eight syllables long.

"Riiiight. Anything shorter?" Des looked from the mini-Doctor to the Master.

"Nope! That's my name!"

"Okay. So in the meantime, how about we call you..."

"Theta," the Master filled in. "Just Theta will do, won't it?" A bit of mental exertion, and...

"You're not s'posed to mess with my brain! I'm telling!"

The Master rubbed at his temples and growled something else obscene.

"You're not s'posed to say that either." The tiny Doctor -- Theta -- was looking insufferably smug, for a five-year-old.

"It doesn't matter what I'm supposed to say," the Master pointed out. "There's no one to tell."

Theta set his chin stubbornly. "I can tell Martha."

Des chuckled. "I'd watch out for that. He means it."

"Ah, the horrors Dr. Jones can visit upon me. I'm quaking with terror. I'll be running and hiding any moment now, just you wait."

"...Okay! I've decided Theta's all right. If you have to call me something that's not..." and again, the thirty-eight syllable construction.

Des winced. "Back to the point that I think we lost track of about five pissing matches ago... I don't see why you have to be involved," he said, picking up the glare where he'd last left off.

The Master raised an eyebrow, his smirk replaced by a look of too-earnest curiosity. "And I suppose you know how to raise a Time Lord?"

Date: 2009-04-25 06:17 am (UTC)
storyinmypocket: ([dw - master] no theory of evolution)
From: [personal profile] storyinmypocket
"Well, not really, but..." Facts weren't the point. Getting the evil guy away from his suddenly prepubescent boyfriend -- ew -- was the point. "You're evil! I'm not letting you raise my boyfriend to be some... Evil Time Lord thing!"

Theta looked at Des, his brow furrowed. "Boyfriend? Ugh. Don't want one. ...Can I take the other chair apart, too?"

The Master shrugged, using every bit of movement possible to convey his absolute unconcern. "I prefer the term 'creatively moral'."

"Yeah, and I prefer the term, 'annoying guy who I just kicked out of my house'. But look at that. You're still here. Can we fix that?"

"If you insist." The Master shrugged. "There's nothing left for me here, at any rate..."

"But I like Koschei," Theta muttered, gearing up for what was bound to be a sulk of epic proportions.

Des attempted to look stern. "Doc-- Theta. What have I told you about liking evil people?"

"Nothing, really." Des reflected that the Doctor and the Master really shouldn't be allowed to talk in unison. Especially not when the Doctor was five.

"Not the point! He's evil, and he's leaving!"

Theta ran a hand through a shock of hair -- which had no business being so adorable, still, and set his chin. "Really, do I have to scream? I can do it. Loud. And for a very very very very long time. And if you make Koschei go away, I will."

Des growled. "Yeah, kid, keep making threats."

"I could tell Martha you touched me inappropriately." No child should look that solemn when making threats like that, Des decided. But then, no child that age should have a vocabulary that large in the first place. The Doctor just had to be special all over, didn't he?

The Master looked from Des to Theta and back again. "You know, on the other hand, I think I'd be delighted to stay."

"Brilliant!" Theta bounced a bit. "I can show you my room!" He frowned again. "...Des? Can I have a room so I can show it to Koschei?"

Date: 2009-04-25 06:18 am (UTC)
storyinmypocket: ([dw - master] made of crazy)
From: [personal profile] storyinmypocket
Des muttered something unintelligible. Fine. The Doctor wanted a room, he'd get a room. He wanted his evil ex, he'd get his evil ex.

And when they got him back to the age he was supposed to be...

The kitchen door chose that moment to start playing "Forever Young" as he walked through, and Des aimed a kick at it.


"Telling. I know."

Some days, Des reflected, it really didn't pay to be the Doctor's boyfriend.

...And again, he thought, looking at the boy walking hand-in-hand with the Master, ew.

Date: 2009-04-25 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
...You just won EVERY POINT. Like, I'm sitting here trying not to joke on roast beef and I had to give up on my Coke within the first couple of paragraphs. JUST... SO CUTE. AND WIN. AND YOU WRITE DES SO WELL. (Everyone being able to write an AWESOME Des makes me so happy. *flails about*)

"Yeah, and I prefer the term, 'annoying guy who I just kicked out of my house'. But look at that. You're still here. Can we fix that?"


"...Des? Can I have a room so I can show it to Koschei?"


Getting the evil guy away from his suddenly prepubescent boyfriend -- ew -- was the point.


AND I AM IN CAPSLOCK MODE, BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP CRACKING UP. THE BANTER IS JUST THAT AWESOME. Seriously, if Des and the Master are half as awesome IN GAME as they are in this fic, I will throw Des at him, like, every chance I get, because... YES.

Date: 2009-04-25 06:34 am (UTC)
storyinmypocket: ([btr] morality majors)
From: [personal profile] storyinmypocket
Eee! I'm glad you liked my Desvoice... I suddenly realized about two hundred words in that I had no idea if I could write him, but since I had Write or Die loaded, pressing on seemed like a good idea.

Good to know it turned out well. ^_^

Date: 2009-04-21 03:13 am (UTC)
eelseason: (/OOC: Snark)
From: [personal profile] eelseason

And Raziel.

Date: 2009-04-21 03:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You're a horrible person. Warnings for probably-mangled French, and possible utter fail at writing Raziel. Lemme know how it turned out.


themanclion: (Default)
Gene Hunt

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